There are no prizes.  No winner.  Ignore the stuff that doesn’t matter.  Don’t try to host everyone.  Don’t try to make things happen.

Wait, observe, enjoy.

You will never get that time with your first baby again.  Not with your second (you are too busy).  One baby is very, very hard work. Two can be devastating.

You know what your baby needs.  And you know what you need. Trust yourself.

You are a wonderful mum, but you will be better with some sleep and self-care.

It’s okay not to see your friends, if it means sleep.  Good friends understand and will wait for you. Don’t let social stuff become a pressure and an obligation.

Babies can communicate if you are observant and listen carefully.  Forget routines and lifestyle advice.  Listen carefully to what you need too.

Ask, get, pay for help.  Pay someone to tidy, clean, do the laundry.  Take a mortgage holiday if you have to.  This stuff lasts a few years – you will be paying the mortgage for decades.

Do what you need to do to get through.  Whatever makes is easier for you.

Breastfeeding is good and easy, but so is not breastfeeding.  Same goes for co-sleeping, potty training, baby-led weaning.  None of it matters in the grand scheme of things as long as you and your children are valued and loved.

Be kind, prioritise sleep, try to be happy.