Category: PND

An ode to early motherhood (and leaving it behind)

Sod off sleepiness nights of breastfeeding Au revoir co-sleeping. Good bye constant pawing Cheerio to the sling Laters smooshed potatoes, crushed into my sofa. If I never see another nappy, crappy knicker, snotty tramline, Bitten nipple, crying toddler, finger-jamming cupboard locker It’ll be far, far too soon I watch my daughters as they grow up Full of pride, guilt and relief That they’re pretty wonderful And that I’m turning a new leaf. Share this:Click to email this to a friend (Opens in new window)Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new...

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Sometimes I fantasise about running away. I had an exciting and chaotic life before the children were born. D and I travelled, giving up jobs and living out of backpacks for a year, then doing long-haul trips twice or three times a year when we had a fat, double income. Before I met D, I kept life very changey. I like to shake things up and was rarely in a job for more than 18 months. I fell in-and-out of relationships, changed towns, travelled on my own. Life was exciting and I walked many roads. I miss it. I...

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Baby Brooding

I’m watching ‘one born every minute’ and feeling emotional. Not clucky in a traditional way, but more from and fear and relief. My births were both relatively easy. The first very ‘managed’, but reasonably fast and I coped without serious intervention despite a drip in each arm and a monitor clawed onto my unborn baby’s head. My second was quick and shocking. Blue lights and oxygen, the cord wrapped around my daughters neck so tightly it had to be clipped and cut while her body was still inside me (and we were both in an ambulance on Hove seafront)....

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I’m anxious again. Not a thing I can put my finger on and work through. Not a conversation or a meeting I’m worried about. But a slow, creepy, dready feeling, filling my belly and dragging around my soul. My thoughts are racing, my hormones surging in nauseating waves of adrenaline and cortisol. My fingers are rubbing and picking. My forehead creases into an achey headthump which, when I realise, I try to smooth away with my thumb and forefinger I’m full of apology and concern. Not sure if my reactions are appropriate. I’m overthinking simple things and worrying that...

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Another personal one

I’ve fluffed a few posts this week. It’s #blogvember and I’ve wanted to stay in the habit, so I’ve done a few posts I might not have published another time. Getting into the habit has been good for me. Finding writing time and getting the cogs whirring. I’m thinking (constantly) about what I might put down each day. But there are also a few posts stitched up deep in me, that I want and need to write (things I need to learn to say). And this is one of them. I have found life very difficult since becoming a...

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other stuff

As well as writing about my 40's, I run Do Stuff U Love.  It's a small business, helping other small businesses in Brighton, Hove and Worthing to manage websites, blogs and social media


Have a gander

Support Zero Waste Week at the same time as stocking up on these lovely giclee prints (I'm thinking Christmas pressies) by my talented friend, Zoe who blogs over at ecothriftyliving.
For each print sold in September 2017, Zoe is donating £2

Zoe’s Zen Art for Zero Waste week

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